Who Needs Courtly Love, Anyway?

I am a huge fan of Medieval literature. I love to read works from the Dark Ages, such as Edmund Spenser's The Fairy Queene and Chaucer's Canterbury Tales; but what I especially love are the Arthurian legends written down at this time by authors such as Thomas Malory and Chretien de Troyes. They may be historically inaccurate, but they're so cool! Who doesn't love stories full of swordfights, chivalry, magic, and the "Once and Future King" of England (props to T.H. White!!!)? The Legend of King Arthur has grown over the centuries from simple stories about a Germanic tribal leader (well, supposedly), to epic tales about the greatest King of England ruling in the most glorious time that small island has ever seen. These tales are the basis for a huge chunk of fantasy literature out there today and hold much influence over the canon of English literature. However, there is one major qualm I have concerning them: this idea of courtly love, the idea of two forbidden lovers sharing a secret, passionate affair that marks the pinnacle of love and beauty. Blech. It irks me even more because almost every other girl I talk to just loves this idea. "Oh, I would love it if I were married but this other handsome guy came and told me he loved me so that I could have an affair with him, and our love would transcend all of time and space and I could fill him with such passion that bards would sing of it for centuries, and I don't care if it was the ruin and undoing of me, my husband, and my lover, because our love is more important than the lives of everybody involved!" What? How does that even make sense? How is that in any way even remotely romantic? I have to stand with Gerald Morris of The Squire's Tales fame on this one: courtly love is utterly stupid. I mean, look for a second at Lancelot and Guinevere. They're probably the most famous example of this idea in medieval literature. There have been songs written, movies made, and books published that idealize these two lovers. But just examine it closely. Guinevere is the King's wife. She is the Queen of England, the example for all of the women of the land. But along comes Lancelot du Lac, this guy from France, and whoosh, she is swept off of her feet and starts sleeping with the dude. She is betraying her husband, the King mind you, with her husband's best friend. Now, if this was happening nowadays, it would be completely, utterly unacceptable. Sure, we understand that maybe she was forced into marriage with King Arthur (who, by the way, seems like a pretty decent man), and sure, maybe she felt way more for Lancelot than she did for her husband, but is that really a legitimate excuse? Not by today's standards, and not by any real cultural standards that I can think of at the moment.Well, maybe except the Italians, but I don't agree with that either!!!                                                                                     
                                                                                                       
And then Tristram and Iseult. What's up with that? These two crazy kids accidentally drink a love potion together, and BAM! they're head-over-heels in love. Iseult then marries King Mark of Cornwall, but she and Tristram go behind the king's back and have a love affair, even though, just like in the Arthur-Guinevere-Lancelot story, Tristram is King Mark's closest advisor and friend. Betrayal just abounds in these stories! In the end, though, Tristram is killed (by some kind of poisoned dart, apparently - it varies with the telling), and Iseult mourns herself into oblivion for her lost, adulterous lover. Wow, great story, guys! Just brilliant! It makes my feminie heart melt just thinking about it! Not. These "courtly love" affairs end in disaster every time, whether it is a death, further deceit, or the downfall of an entire kingdom. Courtly love is just not okay!
So, basically, there's my rant in its entirety. Let me end this like I started it, by saying that I really, really love the Arthurian legends and almost everything that has come of them. I love how you can take them and reshape and reform them to become almost entirely new legends every time, but they still feel the same at their core. And for anyone who loves them as much as I do, I would very much recommend The Squire's Tales by Gerald Morris, because he approaches the stories in an entirely new way and makes them work extremely well, especially for people who enjoy a bit of British, a.k.a. sarcastic, wit and humor. If you're more of the watching-TV type, then BBC's Merlin would be the show for you! It's a very different take on the legends, but again, it's the same at its core. Also, it's BBC, so it's bound to be awesome.