Friday, August 8, 2014

What Christians Can Learn From Atheists

It's a pretty well-known fact that you deeply appreciate what you don't have. Those with little or no money have more respect for the value of currency than a celebrity or CEO who has more money than they know how to spend. People who live alone, or are simply lonely, envy those who have family. Conversely, those with a family may take it for granted that they have people with whom to live and celebrate. In a typical classroom, a student who has a hard time learning out of books may long to have the educational, academic prowess of a fellow classmate. A personal example for me is that those who have a hard time connecting with people are the ones who do it best. They don't have that skill, so they work hard at it and are aware of its importance, perhaps more than someone who was born with the ability to attract and connect with others.

Likewise, I think that Christians who have found acceptance and security in Christ often fail to appreciate what they have. We know that we are safe and loved by God, so we really don't appreciate the feelings of those who do not feel safe and loved. We can come across as mean, harsh, and judgmental as we go about our daily lives, if we are not careful. As I spend time on the internet, I have seen several examples of people outside the Church questioning the mean, critical attitudes of so-called Christians. Meanwhile, those whom we tend to judge, the atheists and 'spiritual' people of the world, tend to be extremely kind. They try their best to make people feel cared about, accepted, and loved. They have not found those things anywhere in the world, but know that they desire and need them, so they try to create it themselves.

Don't get me wrong. I know of atheists who are mean and critical, and many Christians who are warm, kind, and accepting. But, I think that we can get into a dangerous mindset when we forget what being out in the dark, confusing, and lonely world feels like. We steer clear from, or angrily confront, the person with the crazy, controversial ideas. We condemn gays, liberals, and tattooed rockers- or, really, anybody who has different ideas or lifestyles than we do. That is not to say that we must accept every aspect of humanity or every idea that somebody has. After all, as a crazy example, just because we're friendly with somebody who drinks Pepsi doesn't mean that we give up our belief that Coca-Cola is the best soft drink out there. We can hold onto our beliefs while reaching out a hand, a word, or a kind gesture to those who need it.

Because, in the end, people aren't looking to be given a list of criteria to meet. They aren't striving to be criticized or told what they are doing wrong. People are looking to find a place where they feel loved, a place where they can begin to fill the emptiness. And they find that through caring people, who live out the Gospel in their everyday lives, a Gospel that says that no matter how sinful, broken, fallen, or empty you are, you will find love and acceptance here in the arms of the God who bled, died, and rose again just for you.

"And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:28-31)
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all thing... So now faith, hope, and love abide,these three; but the greatest of these is love." (I Corinthians 13:4-13)




Thursday, May 29, 2014

What on God's Green Earth is This Thing Called Beauty?

I am, by nature, an introvert. I crave solitude and time to think. I sense things and feel other people's emotions intensely. Another aspect of my personality, which I have been discovering over the past few years, is that I crave beauty. It's why I prefer a dark, tree-lined country lane lit up with summer fireflies as opposed to crowded, smoke-filled city streets. It's why I clutch so fervently to soul-touching words and melodies. My desire for beautiful things spurred me to create a Pinterest board filled with breathtaking sunsets, crystal blue lakes and crisp, snowy mountains, and photographs that capture the beauty of the human spirit. I entitled this board "Beauty is the Handwriting of God," a modified version of the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Never lose an opportunity for seeing anything that is beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting - a wayside sacrament."

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/b8/52/ae/b852ae31aa7fb74d3a713e740b3ec18e.jpg
Jensen Ackles (image: http://wholelottahot.tumblr.com/post/63309069166/jensen-ackles)
But what is beauty? Is it "in the eye of the beholder?" If we look hard enough for beauty in something, are we bound to see it? Or is it simply something that fate hands out, not determined by human perception?

In my opinion, it is easy for people to agree on what is beautiful in, say, nature. We look at a field of wildflowers or a sunrise over the ocean and think to ourselves, "Now that is real beauty." A person standing on the edge of a mountain, seeing and feeling the wide world around them, may breathe in the fresh air and say, "Wow. Beautiful." But the real touchiness comes when we apply beauty to human beings.

Perceptions on the ideals of human beauty or ugliness have been in flux for centuries. An easy example of transient human opinion on what beauty is that in some civilizations, larger people are considered "beautiful." The more flesh you have on your bones, the more desirable you are. In other civilizations, the exact opposite can be seen, as the less flesh you have on your bones, the more "beautiful" you are considered.
I, too, admit that I have a standard for outward beauty in humanity, which has probably been shaped by my culture and exposure to a set of ideals over the years. And in my mind, one of the most stunningly beautiful people I have seen is Jensen Ackles, the former model and Days of Our Lives actor, and current Supernatural star. Honestly, I couldn't explain why in any sort of scientific manner, but Ackles's features are very aesthetically pleasing. He has jewel-green eyes, a firm jawline, shapely lips, a generous sprinkling of boyish freckles, and a gorgeous smile, all of which combine to make his features very attractive to the eye.

Lizzie Velasquez (image: http://www.aboutlizzie.com/)
So, does his aesthetically pleasing face make him more beautiful than, say, Lizzie Velasquez (who has received a lot of attention lately, due to her story coming to light)? For those unaware of Velasquez, she has a condition where she is unable to gain weight or store fat, a condition which has made her aesthetically unpleasing. Because of her features, she was once promoted "the ugliest woman in the world." Recently, I found myself looking at her picture and pondering, "Is this woman truly ugly?" I had to admit, even to myself, that Velasquez's features are far from the norm, and can be described as not pleasing to the eye (although she does have some jealousy-inducing hair).

But there is much more to beauty or ugliness than a person's appearance, although that is certainly a part of it. I would agree with Emerson and say that there is beauty to be found in people if we choose to look for it. Velasquez's beauty may not manifest itself in her outward appearance, but it certainly manifests in her gentle, forgiving, fighting spirit and her warm wit and humor. And Jensen Ackles's beauty is not just found outwardly, but is also seen in his love for his family and friends, and the passion he has for creating and sharing stories with the world.
 
In literature and film, there have been many characters who look less-than-beautiful. Quasimodo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) and Erik (The Phantom of the Opera) are two especially popular examples which spring to mind. (Interestingly, both of these stories are set in France!) Erik and Quasimodo are men who, from birth, were considered hideous monsters, less than men. They are given away and abandoned by their families solely because of their looks. Erik locks himself away from society, and hides his face behind a mask. In the darkness of society's rejection of him, he comes a dark and twisted soul, losing almost all of the beauty that he ever possessed, besides his voice. When Erik sings, his voice entrances those around him, even to the point where he sounds like an angel. Quasimodo, meanwhile, is locked away in a bell tower and exploited by his master, but he still retains the beauty of his soul in his desperate love and care for Esmeralda. And in the story of The Hunchback, some people wanted Esmeralda to return Quasimodo's love, rather than pine away for the handsome Phoebus. In both of these stories, the hideously, horrifyingly ugly men had something beautiful to offer the world - but it was something that ran deeper than their misshapen outer appearances.

Just as beauty is more than skin-deep, so is ugliness. Ugliness, or unpleasantness, may be revealed in a person's features, or it may be hidden inwardly, in vices like haughtiness, anger, and self-absorption. A man or woman may be aesthetically pleasing, but if they go home and neglect their families or do other horrible things, can they truly be called beautiful? In The Picture of Dorian Gray, Dorian is a gorgeous young man who is slowly corrupted by pride, lust, and a host of other vices. As his soul grows more hideous, his portrait - his reflection - grows more hideous as well. Just because their ugliness is not seen right away, it does not mean that it is nonexistent.

In my worldview, all humans contain ugliness, because all humans are sinners. We all have vices and sins that make us misshapen and, dare I say, hideous. But I also believe that we can all exude beauty, because we are creatures of the Creator God, molded and shaped to reflect Him. Even though we have been tarnished and stained, we still retain a part of that reflection. Any beauty in this world, any happiness or love or joy or light, is truly the handiwork of God - and, I believe, if we look hard enough, we can see that beauty in most anything.

I think what I am trying to say is that, to my mind, beauty is not only an outward qualification, it is a way of life. Beauty comes when a person loves, gives, overcomes, and laughs. Beauty, real beauty, is like a gentle ray of sunshine falling on your shoulders. It is the father kissing his newborn baby daughter. It is the woman who throws back her head and laughs like the world isn't watching. It is the face of the one you love dearest in all of the world. It is a kiss on the forehead, a friend listening when they have better things to do, an unexpected act of kindness in a world that is often harsh and cruel to those who live in it. I think that, in this life, beauty is something that we can create, no matter how we look.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Fandom and Christianity: The Line in the Sand

(*I do not claim to know everything - these are my thoughts and opinions. Feedback is welcome, if so desired!!)

Today was, in a word, rough. I was tired, I was out of it, and my luck had reached its end. When a bad evaluation finally put me over the edge before the clock even struck noon, I sank into myself, as I am wont to do. I put on a chilly front to the rest of the world, but inside myself was a swirling mass of despair and frustrated anger. It was a horrible feeling, really. Thankfully, I had a few minutes' break in the middle of the day, so I popped in my headphones, closed my eyes, and hit play on some "Boston." The lyrics "I just want to have my peace of mind," and "I lost myself in a familiar song/
I closed my eyes and I slipped away" flooded into my ears, I felt a tiny edge of that dark mass melting away. Not a lot, but enough to make it through the rest of the day.

And isn't that how a lot of people use music? It's an escape, a place to go when we can't take the real world any longer. Whether we're air drumming along to Journey, or shaking our hips to some One Direction, or belting out the music of Les Miserables, music helps us to escape ourselves and our lives, at least for a few minutes. In the chords and lyrics we find an understanding voice, words that seem to be meant for us alone, and a freedom and release that is seldom felt in reality.

It is not just music that people use to escape the confines of this world and its problems, however. Sports, art, dance, television, hunting, working on cars, studying history - all of these things have been used by people to find a relief from a constant bombardment of stress. And most of the time, these are not seen as bad things. I mean, who hasn't plopped down on the couch on a Monday night and just let the newest episode of [Enter Show Name Here] filter into their minds? In getting wrapped up in the fictional characters and their plights, people forget their own problems for a time. They may even find that their own problems are somewhat silly by comparison - at least they aren't getting chased by killer robots or fearing that their ex-husband's ex-wife's dog's former owner's cousin with lung disease is going to run them over in their yacht. These fictional (e.g. sometimes completely unrealistic) scenarios can help people to make it through the day in a way that is perfectly acceptable to society.

In my life, my escape has normally come at the hands of fiction. This trend of mine started during my middle school years. At school, instead of focusing on all of the drama, I would read. I escaped into world of fantasy and magic, and developed a love for such things that has never left me. When I went to college, due to time restraints in between bouts with homework, I turned to other forms of media after a rough day or week: movies, TV shows, and more recently, Pinterest (that wonderfully addicting blight of humanity!). Through browsing the "Geek" side of Pinterest, especially, I became aware of this thing called "fandoms," which to non-Geeks is a term used to identify those who are - you guessed it - fans of a certain TV show, movie, or book series. There are Potterheads (the Harry Potter faction), Whedonites (all things Joss Whedon), Psych'Os (for those who enjoy Psych), and Whovians (for the awesome people who obsess over Doctor Who), among a myriad of others. I mean, there are probably hundreds of these fandoms. And when I use the word "obsess," I don't mean a vague obsession. I mean, obsess. These people know everything to know about the actors, follow every move they make on Twitter and Facebook, pin hundreds of pins of their favorite show or book on Pinterest, spend thousands of dollars on merchandise or the chance to meet their favorite actors, and completely revolve their lives around what happens in the story.

But I can't separate myself from "these people." I've always had a bit of an obsessive streak. I finished the Harry Potter series (movies and books) in two weeks. When I read the Redwall book series in middle school, I went to the library every couple of days to check out a new one. Even now, if you look at my Pinterest boards, you can see an abundant overflow of my newest obsession, Supernatural. Because honestly, it's a great show. I enjoy the characters and the storylines. I found something in the show which speaks to me and entertains me, and yes, helps me to escape from the worries of the world - the story of two brothers, a struggle for family, a struggle for redemption. I love stories - stories are the air I breathe - and this story, I have developed a particular love for.

Now, in the eyes of the world, Geeks and fandoms are looked-down-upon fringe elements who are a little crazy and a lot weird, although we are making a comeback, and are one step closer to ruling the world (muahaha!) through big events like the Avengers and The Hobbit. However, with the smaller fandoms (anime, video game, and MMORPG fans, perhaps), people who like such things are regarded with suspicion and distaste. It's not socially acceptable to be that "into" anything. Society's picture of a geek or nerd is a 30-something-year-old man wearing unwashed wizard robes and wasting away in front of the computer in his parents' basement.

And in retaliation, the relatively powerful Geek community has responded with books like Fangasm (two college professors who become obsessed with Supernatural) and statements like this one by the great Simon Pegg: "Being a geek means never having to play it cool about how much you like something." Through fandom, many lonely people find a community where their likes and interests are accepted. As Jensen Ackles reportedly stated, "People are different everywhere but there's this one little show that brings us all together." It's like another world, a whole other family and support system, which lessens the pain and hardship of the life people have to live day-to-day.

I freely admit to being a part of this world. However, being a Christian, should I be comfortable with such a statement? Should I not find my comfort and family in Christ and the Church?

I believe that yes, I can be part of this world, and find my comfort with Christ and the Church at the same time. But, I have to be careful of that line between fan and FAN in the Geek community. Which is a small degree of difference; but a larger one that people probably think. There is a difference between enjoying something and letting something run your life. I am not personally convicted about my love for stories, because that is not running my life. My life is fully in the hands of God (although, like most, I struggle with letting him have control), and my love of stories, which goes to my soul, is one of those extra things he has given to me. It is not the only thing.

Sometimes, the anticipation of the newest episode of my favorite show helps me to make it through a particularly hard day; and there is nothing wrong with that, just like there is nothing wrong with listening to Boston when I'm feeling a little down and out. Sometimes, we need to escape for a short time - honestly, I feel as if I didn't, I would go crazy. There is a part of us that was never meant to live in a world so messed up by sin, and I personally think that part of us craves sanctuary at times. But that doesn't mean I let those small bits of entertainment or enjoyment run my life. At the end of the day, they are just stories - they aren't my life. My life is what I live day-to-day when I get out of bed in the morning. It is touching other people's lives with the gifts God has given me. I have a mission, and that mission is not enjoyment, entertainment, or escape. It is the Gospel. There is a time and place for everything. There is a time to get lost in a good book or TV show, and there is a time to face the real world with its invisible monsters, dragons, and rapscallion hordes, in order to shine the undying light of Christ to those lost in darkness.

In conclusion, there is a line constructed in society about just how far a person can go with liking something before it becomes uncomfortable; but that barrier is being slowly beaten back by various fandoms becoming more mainstream and powerful. There is also a line with regards to being a Christian and being in a fandom, the main principle being, Christ should be at the center of everything we do (even fangirling over the latest picture of Tom Hiddleston or episode of Supernatural). If ever those things control our lives or take the place of Christ in our hearts - then, we have crossed the line. But if there is anything that Zachary Levi, a well-known Christian actor who runs the convention Nerd HQ and gallivants around with the likes of Tom Hiddleston and Nathan Fillion, has proved, it is that one can, in fact, be a Christian and a committed nerd at the same time. So enjoy away, fellow Christian fans - but remember who owns your life and holds you safely in his hands!!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

The Light of Earendil

     So, recently I took up the task of making a drawing of the Light of Earendil. Those who know me and are reading this know that I absolutely love the Lord of the Rings, and there are a lot of phrases and symbols in the books and movies which mean a lot to me. But honestly, the Light of Earendil is one of my favorites.
     In The Fellowship of the Ring, as Fellowship is taking their leave of Lothlorien - right after losing Gandalf and before journeying ever closer to the fires of Mordor - Galandriel hands Frodo a beautiful, shining vial of liquid. With the vial come the words, "I give you the light of EƤrendil our most beloved star. May it be a light to you in dark places when all other lights go out." Those words seriously hit me every time. Because you see, that is what God is, to me. He is the light to my way in the darkest of places, the peace when I cannot see my path. He is my hope in the most desperate of circumstances, my Star of Earendil. So here is my attempt at a charcoal drawing of this most precious object, along with the Elvish word for "courage." Because everything's better in Elvish!! Enjoy!
{And yes, it is drawn on computer paper... I have a sketchpad, but I didn't think that this one would be any good so I didn't want to waste the paper. Turns out, you should always go for wasting the paper. Also, apparently spell check has never read Lord of the Rings.}

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Favorite Couples of All Time - Part 2!!!

Due to suggestions from my esteemed friends and siblings, I have decided to make a second all-time favorite couple list which includes all the great romances I forgot to include in my first post. So here it is, the one you've all been waiting for this past day... Dun dun duhhhnnn.... FAVORITE COUPLES OF ALL TIME PART 2!!!
  • Ron and Hermione (Harry Potter series)
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    • Two people who were always meant to be, from the first disgusted "And you are?" Ron and Hermione are two best friends who fell in love, even though their first impressions of each other gave no indication of the great romance to come. She thought he was stupid, gross, and mean, and he thought that she was a haughty know-it-all who just liked to show off. There was some truth to their impressions, but as they spent time together, worried about Harry together, and fought off evil wizards together, their friendship turned into something more. And that's why we love this story. After all, isn't it what we all hope for?
  • Danielle and Henry (Ever After)

     
    • The classic Cinderella/Prince Charming story, but with a more believable twist. In this case, Cinderella (Danielle DeBabarac) is a strong-minded, independent servant girl who poses as a courtier, and Prince Charming (Henry) is a future ruler who wants to do anything but sit on the throne. The two meet, argue, and fall in love. He is struck by her wit and passion, and she is struck by his unexpected depth and desire to be better than he is. Then, it is all torn apart by misunderstanding, fear, hurt, and scheming stepmothers, only to be rekindled in the most wonderful of fashions. The story of the love between Henry and Danielle is one that is fraught with equal measures of peril and joy, and that is what makes it great
  • Ricky and Lucy (I Love Lucy)

     
    • They made us laugh. They made us cry. They made us laugh some more. Ricky and Lucy Ricardo form what is probably the most famous TV couple of all time. They were loving, playful, they sang and danced and tried to escape their obnoxious neighbors. These two had it all, made even better by the fact that Desi and Lucy were married in real life.
  • Carl and Ellie (Up)

     
    • For those who have seen this movie, I honestly don't have to say anything. You know. For those who haven't seen it, they should watch it. At least the first five minutes, which is where the bulk of this gripping, wordless love story takes place. It is a story of the ultimate adventure of real life and real love, which will simply tear your heart to little pieces and make you weep tears of equal measure joy and sorrow. It really is that great. One of my favorite romances of all time. And definitely better than Twilight.
  • Sam and Katherine (Holes) 
  •  
    • What can I say, this is an impossible wonderful love torn asunder by awfully cruel people. It is a story of overcoming barriers, of a love that is kind and strong, and a tragedy of near-epic proportions. I seriously cry every time. And Sam's iconic "I can fix that," has nearly reached the same level as Westley's "As you wish" as far as melting the heart of every female watching the movie or reading the book. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Sam and Kissin' Kate Barlow!!
  • Kim and Ron (Kim Possible)
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    • Pretty much the relationship for anyone who watched Disney Channel during the early 2000s. Kim and Ron were best friends for an eternity, ever since preschool, and as the years went by they stayed best friends in spite of the social barriers between them. Kim became the uber-popular crime-fighting cheerleader, and Ron stayed... Well, Ron stayed true to himself, at least. But everyone who watched the show was waiting and praying that someday they would realize their feelings for each other. And finally, it came. The kiss. The biggest friend-zone in television history had been broken, and true love had triumphed again!
  • Amy and Rory (Doctor Who)
  •  
    • Amy and Rory... So much heartache, so much anxiety, and so much awesomeness has never before been contained in a couple. They find each other, lose each other, break each other's hearts, and somehow end up with the most amazing family the world has ever known. He has searched galaxies, fought off armies, and waited 2,000 years for her. She loved him with all of her might, even brining him back from the dead more than once. And she gave this speech to her baby, which made us - well, me - forgive her for any past uncertainties about the strength of her love for her man: "I wish I could tell you that you'll be loved, that you'll be safe, and cared for, and protected, but this isn't the time for lies. What you are going to be, Melody, is very, very brave.   But not as brave as they all have to be, because there's somebody coming. I don't know where he is, or what he's doing, but trust me: he's on his way. There's a man who's never going to let us down, and not even an army can get in the way. He's the last of his kind. He looks young, but he's lived for hundreds and hundreds of years. And wherever they take you, Melody, however scared you are, I promise you, you will never be alone, because this man is your father. He has a name, but the people of our world know him better... as The Last Centurion." Like I said, epic.
  • Eowyn and Faramir (Lord of the Rings)
  •  
    • Probably the only couple who could beat Amy and Rory in terms of awesomeness. These two just make my heart sing with happiness - more than Arwen and Aragorn, actually. It totally makes sense that the strong, sad Faramir would fall for the strong, sad shieldmaiden of Rohan. Sadly, the movies sort of ignore it except for a two-second shot. But here's a quote from the books that shows a little bit of their relationship: "'It reminds me of Numenor,' said Faramir, and wondered to hear himself speak.' 'Of Numenor?' said Eowyn. 'Yes,' said Faramir, 'of the land of Westernesse that foundered, and of the great dark wave climbing over the green lands and above the hills, and coming on, darkness unescapable. I often dream of it.' 'Then you think that the Darkness is coming?' said Eowyn. 'Darkness Unescapable?' And suddenly she drew close to him. 'No,' said Faramir, looking at her face. 'It was but a picture in the mind. I do not know what is happening. The reason of my waking mind tells me that great evil has befallen and we stand at the end of days. But my heart says nay; and all my limbs are light, and a hope and joy are come to me that no reason can deny. Eowyn, Eowyn, White Lady of Rohan, in this hour I do not believe that any darkness will endure!' And he stooped and kissed her brow. And so they stood on the walls of the City of Gondor, and a great wind rose and blew, and their hair, raven and golden, streamed out mingling in the air." -J.R.R. Tolkien

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

The Wayward Child (Part II)


“Good morning, Alyssa,” said Todd, glancing at the name badge pinned to the waitress’s light blue uniform as she set a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast onto the table. Alyssa. He liked the sound of her name. “If it's not too much trouble, I really have to ask you an extremely serious question."
  Immediately, Alyssa retracted, stiffly crossing her arms in front of her. She eyed him warily, puzzled, but didn’t say anything. She was listening, though, and that was cue enough for Todd. “It's just... Well, see... Could I please have a stack of blueberry pancakes on the side? If it's not too late to add it to my bill.”
  Alyssa’s brown eyes widened slightly, and then a small, relieved smirk lifted the corners of her mouth. It was the first time he’d seen her without a severe frown plastered on her features. The semi-smile made her look even more attractive than usual, but Todd wisely kept this opinion to himself.

  “Sure, no problem. I can bring them out in a jiffy," Alyssa said, scratching down a note on her pad. Then she paused for a split-second before going on. "It will cost extra, though, and I’m not sure if you have enough to cover it.” She glanced at him with a smirk.
  Todd was surprised at the playful sarcasm which saturated the last sentence, but he kept his face straight. “Well, it might be a little tight, but I think the fifty in my wallet should be enough to cover it.”
  “Oh, I don’t know,” said Alyssa matter-of-factly. “We’re a pretty upscale restaurant around here. Y'know, our pancakes are some of the best for miles around, and taste like that doesn’t exactly come cheap.” She gave a sort of half-laugh and started fiddling with the pen in her hand.
  Todd, who was feeling extremely pleased with himself at the progress he was making, laughed as well, and was about to say something else when a shout interrupted their banter. “Hey, Princess, I’d appreciate it if you’d stop flirting with the man and get around to some of your other customers!” Todd watched with growing misery as Alyssa’s face turned back to stone. Her features grew impassive and unreadable again, although she couldn’t hide the wells of pain that suddenly flooded her eyes. She rushed over to the rude man and took down his snappy order, then hurried back behind the counter. Todd turned around to glare at the man who had spoken. The culprit was a grizzly-looking man sitting a few booths over, wearing a plaid shirt and a red skull cap. Todd guessed that he worked as a logger in the town a few miles up the road. They made up a large part of the diner's circle of customers. The mountain man caught Todd's stare and gave a squinty glare of his own, but neither said a word. Todd turned back to his large breakfast and began picking at the bacon. He’d never really liked the stuff all that much.
***
  Alyssa barely looked at the rich man as the dumped his blueberry pancakes unceremoniously onto the table and headed to the rude mountain man. She still felt the heat flushing her cheeks, but did her best to ignore it. She had a job to do.
  The man didn’t say a word as she plopped down his plate of bacon and eggs. “More coffee?” she said, not even attempting to hide her contempt. She would do her job, but that didn’t mean she had to be nice about it. This man was even more of an asshole than the rich guy had been.
  The logger simply grunted and gave a curt nod, but his gaze didn’t quite reach her face. She hurriedly poured the coffee, and then headed to the next table, where two of her favorite customers sat. “Hello Sadie. Good morning, Rob,” she said with a genuine smile.
  “Good morning, Alyssa dear!” Sadie’s clear, cheerful voice never failed to make Alyssa’s mornings at least a little better. She was glad to see that they were still sitting on the same side of the booth, their worn and wrinkled hands clasped together on top of the table.
  “Alyssa.” Rob’s dirty ball cap bobbed up and down as he gave her a friendly nod. It was funny how different lively Sadie and stoic Rob were, and yet they still loved each other, even after all these years.
  “The usual?” asked Alyssa.
  “Of course,” giggled Sadie. “Y’know, Rob, maybe we should switch it up a bit every once in a while, just to throw Alyssa off of the trail. This girl’s getting too good. We may just have to start coming here every time she’s working!”
  “Oh, I’m sure that Alyssa would just love to see my mug in here all of the time,” said Rob in a sarcastic tone.
  “I wouldn’t mind at all, Rob,” said Alyssa with a laugh. “You two make this job bearable, and I'm always glad to see you.” She scribbled down their orders on her pad. “I’ll be right out with your orange juice.”
  As she made her way back to the kitchen, Alyssa noticed that the rich man had left. Some apparently dysfunctional part of her was disappointed, but the other normal, rational part was highly upset with him because he had left the whole fifty dollar bill on the table. The meal, including his barely-touched pancakes, had only been $7. Who did the rich bastard think he was? She didn’t need charity! She was a hard-working, independent woman who didn’t need the scraps of some mightier-than-thou piece of scum, who had tricked her into... into flirting with him, of all things! He, who was not, and would never be, her Brian. Anger and shame mixed in her chest, but Alyssa quickly stored the money in her apron and busied herself with pouring two glasses of pulp-free orange juice. Rob hated pulp. He said that it got stuck in his throat and he felt like it was trying to choke him.
  She spent the next several minutes rushing around the tiny diner, pouring drinks, greeting a few late-breakfast customers, and putting in orders to Mike in the kitchen. After a little more unwelcome and rather disgusting flirting, the mountain man finally left. Sadie and Rob soon followed, promising their return the next morning. Eventually there came the normal pre-lunch lull, and Alyssa could relax a little bit. Only a couple more hours and she could go home for the day.
***
  “When… the… moon hits your eyes like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. That’s amore!” Todd’s deep - if not slightly off-key - voice rang through the inside of his tricked-out red Chevy truck as he wound his way through the curves of the Tennessee back roads. He grinned as he flew by an elderly man riding a John Deere lawn mower back down his long driveway, mail bundled in one hand. Yup, he was definitely in redneck country. It was perfect, just where he had always dreamed of living from the time he was a little boy, when his father would taken him and his mother on day-trips to the country. He loved the dirt roads, the run-down, ivy-covered barns that looked as though they were full of memory, and the abundance of trees that lined the winding roads and shed their orange and brown leaves in a shower of bursting color.
  It had definitely taken some getting used to, though. After all, he had been born and raised in Nashville, Tennessee, the Hollywood of the East Coast - a city of concrete and iron that was constantly alight, in which the dreams and hopes of hundreds of people were every day either fulfilled or crushed beneath the feet of money-grubbing record companies. It was a city of smoke, traffic, and a never-ending stream of people, nothing like the beautiful, slow, and isolated scene of the eastern Tennessee mountains.
  Todd felt his phone vibrate on his belt. It was another call, probably from another recording company. Slightly annoyed, he reached over and muted the radio, then flipped on the Bluetooth in his car. “Todd Baker,” he said curtly, in his practiced business voice.
     “Todd, honey? This is Mom!”
     “Mom?” Todd couldn’t help but let the surprise creep into his voice. “What – how – how did you get my number?”
     “How are you honey? I’m so glad I got a hold of you! Oh, I’ve missed you so much!” Todd’s heart lurched slightly at the sound of his mother’s voice. How long had it been since he’d seen her last? A couple of years, at least.
     “I’m good, Mom. I’m really good.” She obviously wasn’t going to answer his question about the phone number, so he decided to drop it. His mom was sweet, but she could be stubborn as hell when she chose to be.
     Her voice continued to pour through the speaker in his ear. “So where are you living now? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, of course. Hopefully somewhere nice!”
     “Well – yeah, Mom. It’s a pretty nice place. Are you guys still living in Nashville?”
     “Of course! Where else would we go?” His mom gave a small chuckle, but he couldn’t help but hear the edge of bitterness in the laugh. He knew how much she hated Nashville, how much she had always wanted to get away. That was why his dad had sometimes taken her into the country, just to appease her.
     “So – are you guys okay? Is Dad alright?”
     “Oh, honey, we’re fine, we’re fine! Just going along as normal. Your father’s been having another record year, we’re very comfortable. We even had dinner with the mayor again last week!”
     “That’s nice,” said Todd shortly. There was a pause.
     “Well, I- I just wanted to remind you that we’re still having Thanksgiving dinner this year, and your grandparents and Aunt Millie’s family are coming over. You’re still invited, honey, if you can make it. I’m planning to bake some pumpkin bread this year.”
     Todd laughed. “Mom, you always know how to hook me in.” He hesitated and then said, “Listen, I’ll let you know when it gets closer.”
     “Alright. That’s all I can ask. I really hope you can make it, and so does your father.”
     “Okay, Mom.” Todd didn’t believe that his father wanted him to be at Thanksgiving dinner, but he decided to go along with the lie for now, for his mom's sake. “I’ll call you when I make a decision, all right?”
     “That sounds fine, dear,” said the voice on the other end. “I’ll be looking forward to your call! I love you so much! Be safe!”
     “Love you too, Mom,” said Todd. He hung up, pulled out his earpiece, and turned his radio back on at full blast.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Not on the A Team Anymore

"And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries
And they scream
The worst things in life come free to us
Cos we're just under the upperhand
Go mad for a couple grams
And she don't want to go outside tonight
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland
Or sells love to another man
It's too cold outside
For angels to fly
Angels to fly." -A Team, Ed Sheeran

This song is probably one of the saddest I've heard in a while, because it's true. Girls like the one described in this song can be found in any corner of the world, on any continent, on any street; girls who, although fallen and sinful, were created as the crowning glories of creation. As John and Stacy Eldredge point out in their book Captivating, creation was not complete, not perfect, until woman was made. These girls, who were made to be loved and treasured, believe themselves to be of so little worth that they allow themselves to be bought, used, and thrown away like dirty dishrags. These beautiful creatures, who were made to love God with all their being and live a full, vibrant, and joy-filled life, instead live for the next high that will make them feel better for two seconds and then leave them again with the God-shaped hole that epitomizes their lives. They sell their souls and their bodies, believing that there is no other option, that they deserve no more than a life of misery and heartache, little daring to believe that as close as a leap of faith, God is waiting for them with arms wide open. He is ready and willing to fill their God-shaped emptiness, to clothe them in all the worth of His Son, and to love them with all the infinite, self-sacrificing love He feels for them. They do not have to live such degrading, menial lives, but they do not know that they have another option. And what do we do most of the time? We judge them. We let them live in their lies and their shame and do not tell them of who they could be, of who they are meant to be, or of the great value that God places on them. If we did, then maybe, just maybe, these girls who rely on pipes and fleeting love to get them through life, would be fewer and more far between.